Monday, December 27, 2010

Feliz Navidad!

Feliz Navidad!  Merry Christmas!

Christmas down here in México has been so much fun this year!  Although it is different being away from family and friends in the US, we have had such a blast here with all of the kids at Niños en Victoria!

La Cena Navideña (Christmas Dinner):
For the first time in my life I prepared Christmas Dinner!  For 30+ people!  In less than 4 hours our team prepared: 2 turkeys, 1 ham, mashed potatoes, corn, french bread and a cake for all of the kids and workers at Niños en Victoria!  It was such a blast cooking for the kids a real Christmas dinner!  There is a Mexican saying "Ya estás lista para casarte." "You're now ready to get married."  And basically they say that to you when you know how to cook a good meal.  All of the kids told me that on Christmas night!  I loved it!  So apparently, I'm now ready to get married... haha ;)

Posadas, Posadas, y Más Posadas (Parties, Parties and More Parties):
The kids have been celebrating Christmas for about 2 weeks now!  They have had about 2+ parties daily!  These parties include piñatas, candy bags, gifts, and amazing food!  These kids have a better Christmas than I ever had growing up!  Christmas parties daily with 30 siblings!  I love it!

Christmas Gifts:
We've been planning a "Christmas Project" in trying to get some basic things that the kids at the orphanage need and God provided!!!
-new bunk beds + new mattresses
-new sheets, new pillows, new down comforters
-new lockers
-basic cleaning supplies for the orphanage (toilet paper, trash bags, etc)

The kids are so excited!  Before there were a bunch of kids sleeping on the floor and a lot of them without blankets.  Also, there was always the problem in the orphanage of kids losing and/or stealing other kids' things, because they have never had a special place for them to store their own stuff.  So we were able to buy them each a locker where they can store their clothes, new Christmas gifts, etc.  The kids are so excited to really have a place that is "their own"!

Also, the surprise Christmas gift of the year was 2 goats!  hahahahaha Only in Mexico does a father give his 5 year old son 2 goats for Christmas!  The goats have been running around the patio since Christmas Eve.  There are just some things that I'll never understand about Mexico!  :D

Once a year vs. Throughout the Year
These kids have been so blessed this Christmas!  Numerous groups have come to visit and be with the kids and give them gifts, but one group has really stuck out to me.  Every Saturday at 2pm a family comes to the orphanage.  52 Saturdays a year.  They never miss a week.  They come to spend time with the kids and to serve them the "comida" (the biggest meal of the day).  They buy and prepare the food and desserts and drinks and everything.  And they serve the kids.  Every week.  This family is so dedicated to these kids.  They have been coming for a few years now and have really immersed themselves into these kids' lives.

Yes, the groups that came for Christmas have really blessed the kids and it has been great, but I was really challenged by this family that comes weekly.  They are committed.  Even though it may be difficult at times, they are committed to loving and blessing these 30 kids.

Thank you all for being so committed to supporting me financially and prayerfully.  Even though it may be difficult for you at times, I truly appreciate your commitment.  I appreciate your commitment to sending me down here to Guadalajara to start an orphanage.  God sees your heart and your commitment.

"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain." 
Psalm 139:1-6





Monday, November 22, 2010

Internship @ Pan de Vida in Querétaro, México

We recently returned to Guadalajara from a 3-day internship at another Christian orphanage in México.  We traveled to Querétaro which is about 4 hours away from Guadalajara to visit an orphanage called Pan de Vida (Bread of Life).  The orphanage has about 80 boys and girls.

This is one of the best run orphanages that I have seen.  They are so organized and orderly.  The majority of the orphanages that I've been to are either super organized with a very strict regiment and almost military style schedule or the complete opposite with no structure at all.  We want our orphanage to have a healthy balance between the two styles.  We want structure, order and organization, but also want it to be balanced with times to relax and hang out as a family and bond.

The first night at this orphanage was what most impacted me.  I got to spend the night with the girls.  One thing that I definitely miss is working with girls (the 2 orphanages we work with in Guadalajara are all boys).  Before going to bed, we all stood in a circle and held hands and took turns praying.  It was so amazing to get to hear a little 5 year old girl pray.  The prayers of a child are so simple but are truly from the heart.  I loved it.  And then one of the girls wanted to sing, so we started to sing with all of the girls for a good 30-45 minutes.  It was so much fun.  After singing one of the older girls said that we should all sit down and share our life-stories.  So we all sat down in the circle and went around sharing about our pasts and how God has changed our lives.

We sat in a circle.  5 year old girls. 10 year old girls.  18 year old girls.  All of them so different.  Coming from different pasts.  Some of them raped as young girls.  Some of them beaten by their parents.  Some of their parents in prison.  Grew up in poverty.  But all of them one family.  In all of these girls you can see one thing in common.  The presence of Jesus in their hearts.  I have never seen children like this.  Children who really love Jesus.  God is truly working in their hearts.  His work is evident in their lives.  These girls are real.  They are genuine.  I walked out that night talking with the other girls on my team and I kept repeating that "these girls are so real".  My teammates laughed at me.  But it is true.  These girls are real.  They are transparent.  They are genuine.

During the trip we were also able to make contact with another Christian orphanage in another city about 2 hours away from Guadalajara.  They invited us to do an internship with them, most likely in January.  Overall this trip was incredible for us to really continue forming our vision of how we want our orphanage to look like.  Taking the pros and cons of each orphanage and mixing together what we feel is best and most effective for the children.

Monday, November 1, 2010

These kids are changing.

I've been reflecting on these past 5-6 months here.  These kids are truly changing.  People's lives are being changed.  We have put 100% of ourselves into these kids' lives.  And I'm not going to lie, it is hard, but to see the changes that we have witnessed make it all worth it...
One night we had to discipline a kid for disobeying and not showing respect.  He was angry and said that he never wanted to see us again. The next morning we walk through the front door greeted by a hug, asking for forgiveness and thanking us for disciplining him.  These kids understand that we have to discipline them, because we love them and truly care about them.

Last night we were all playing in the street in front of the orphanage playing tag and tackle.  Boys will be boys!  haha  You would never find little girls having fun running after and tackling each other, but anyways...  One of the younger boys (Robby) fell down and scraped his knees and started crying but all of the other kids kept running.  Two of the boys (Luis and Nahum) stopped and helped him up and took care of him telling him that he would be alright.  These kids really do care about each other.

A couple of nights ago I was putting the younger kids to bed.  We were telling bed-time stories and then I asked the kids if I could pray for them before going to bed.  So I prayed for the kids and before saying goodnight, I told them that I thought it was so awesome that we can talk to Jesus when we have problems, when we are frustrated, when we don't understand, when we are sad, etc.  I shared with them that I've been praying for somebody I know who is pretty sick and who is probably going to pass away, because they don't know Jesus, and that according to the Bible when they pass away if they have rejected the gospel that they wouldn't be going to Heaven.

One of the kids (Cesar) spoke up and tried to console me in telling me that:
 "Well, I think since he was a good person and everything that Jesus would let him into Heaven."  
I then explained to him that actually the Bible says that is not true.  Then I was getting ready to explain more, but the 8 year old (Braulio) jumped in the conversation.  The 8 year old (Braulio) told the 9 year old (Cesar),
"Actually, you can't get into Heaven because you are a good person.  You have to know Jesus.  You have to receive His grace.  He died on the cross for our sins.  We're not perfect and we sin.  We've all told lies.  How are we supposed to go to Heaven with a perfect God is we're not perfect?  Jesus died for our sins so that through His grace we can know God and go to Heaven."

His exact words.  Not mine.  The 8 year old explained the gospel to the 9 year old.

This is what I'm talking about!!!  Their lives are being changed.  They are sharing the gospel amongst themselves.  They are praying for each other.  One of the youth (Martin-13yrs)  was baptized last Saturday.  Every night the kids ask us to pray for them and fight over who gets to be prayed for first.  They love it!

These kids are changing.  Jesus is working in their lives.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Grass at Niños en Victoria!

We spent two afternoons putting in grass at the casa hogar.  Check out the video:


Friday, September 24, 2010

Reactions, Praises, New Shoes, Dance Parties, and more!

Estudios Biblicos-Weekly Bible Studies with the Kids:
We have been leading Bible studies every night at the orphanage and we have really seen growth in the kids!  The other week I talked about the passage in John 1 (Juan 1) when Jesus is calling His first disciples.  The Word says that Jesus called them;  they went, left everything; they saw Jesus; they stayed with Jesus.  They made a decision to react to Jesus' calling.

We talked about how we have to react to what God is telling us.  And I asked the kids, "What is a reaction?".  Silence. Nobody responded.  So I figured I would demonstrate what a reaction is.  I stood up and went over to one of the older kids (Victor) and flicked his ear.  Needless to say, I got a really confused look from Victor and the kids burst out laughing.  They finally started to get it.  If we react to little things like that, then we need to react to God's calling as well.  A few days later I was working in the office and Victor came up to me and and hit me on the head.  I looked up and gave him a confused look.  He told me, "That is a reaction.  Just like our reaction to God."  HA!  He got it!

La Escuela-School:
The kids are off to a great start in school!  Last week one of my kids (Julio) received a note from the teacher saying that she wanted to speak to me.  So I went into the school, expecting the worst.  To my surprise, she wanted to share with me how well Julio has been doing in school!  He is scoring 10s (As) on all of his assignments and is showing respect to the teacher and classmates!  We are excited to be able to reward the kids who are doing well in school!

Abraham is the first kid in the orphanage to make it past elementary school.  He is currently in his first year of middle school and is loving it!  He asked me the other day to take a picture of him in his BRAND NEW uniform and shoes.  He is so excited!  This is the first time he has ever had something new that is especially for him.  He wrote this letter to all of you thanking you for helping send him to school:

"Hi, I am Cristopher Abraham Luna Villanueva.  Thanks for sending support from the US to Mexico.  I am SO excited for my new uniform.  I also thank Erika, Darren, Blanca, and Justin and also the secretary, Elizabet, and all of you because if it weren't for you, I would not have had a uniform and I could not go to school.  Thank you and God bless.  I will always be praying for you.  I am 13 years old.  Thank you."

The joys of working with kids-Dance Party Anyone?
The other day we were putting all of the younger kids to bed and I noticed that all of the older kids were missing.  Never a good sign.  Jaja!  So I went downstairs and to my surprise I found the living room and the dining room empty.  I walked into the kitchen and I found all of the older boys dancing to a Christian hip-hop song (Musica por dentro--http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42j-BDWi5A8).  I burst out laughing!  My fear was that the kids were fighting or getting into trouble, and yet they were dancing to Christian hip-hop!  I love it!  These kids are constantly surprising me!  We have so much JOY working with them.

Journeyman International (501c3) came down to do a service project at the orphanage.  Here is a short video showing what we did:


THANK YOU. I am truly grateful for the opportunity that God has given me to serve here in Guadalajara long term in starting an orphanage.  I also thank you all for support and prayers in partnering with what He is doing here.

Monday, September 6, 2010

A New Beginning at Niños en Victoria

Bed Time Stories
I'd have to say that hands down my favorite part of the week is getting to put the kids to bed at night.  They eat dinner, brush teeth, get blankets and lay down in their new beds.  Normally I'm in charge of the younger kids and once they're all laying down and quiet we tell a story.  I start off with a basic sentence (Once upon a time there were 5 turtles, 3 butterflies, and 1 king...).  And the kids each take a turn to add the next part to the story.  Over the next few weeks we've told stories about: time machines, dinosaurs, deserted islands, etc.  It is so much fun giving the kids a chance to stretch their imaginations and work together to write a story.

Dining Room (Comedor)
We finished redoing the comedor last week with the arrival of the tables and chairs.  The project entailed: painting walls, putting up artwork, building a wall and putting up mosquito nets, and putting in brand new tables and chairs.  For the first time in the past 9 years that this orphanage has been open they can finally all sit down at once and eat a meal together with everyone!

Back to School
Last year there were 4 of the 24 kids enrolled in school.  This year 21 of the 24 are enrolled in school!  We have learned so much in the process of enrolling the kids in school.  For a good week I ran around town with the orphanage secretary enrolling the kids in school-- writing letters, obtaining past school records, obtaining birth certificates, meeting with government school board workers, school directors, talking with teachers, getting backpacks/uniforms/school supplies etc.  Definitely a hectic week or two, but I learned so much about what the school system looks like down here.  The kids are so excited!

Angel
Angel is probably one of the cutest/funniest kids I've ever met.  He is so incredibly excited to start school.  This is his first time ever attending school.  He is 8 years old.  Every morning he asks me if tomorrow he is going to school and today I get to walk him to his first day of school!  And every afternoon he checks his backpack to make sure he has everything he needs; and every afternoon I assure him that we will get him whatever he needs for school.  He is so excited to learn.  He has been carrying around his "special blue notebook" for the past month asking us to give him little homework assignments.  He loves it!  It is so encouraging to see a kid so eager and excited to learn!

Women's Bible Study
This week I will be starting a woman's bible study with my roommates, the director's wife, and I am inviting some of the kid's moms as well as some neighbors/friends.  I'm excited to really dig into the Word with these women.  The theme is freedom.  It is based on Galatians 5:1  "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Pray for these women.

Monday, August 16, 2010

So Many Opportunities to Serve and Learn


-El Cine (the movies) - Karate Kid
This past month has been such a blast down here in Guadalajara!
We have had so many different opportunities to take the kids out and really spend one on one time with them and bless them!  We took all of the kids to the movies to see Karate Kid.  It was a lot of their first times at the movies and they loved it so much!  I have also had the chance to take a couple of kids every week to the centro (downtown) to run some errands.  This has given me time to really get to know the kids more and to hear their stories.

-Repairs around the Casa Hogar
We've also been working a lot around the orphanage in terms of repairing, cleaning and organizing.  Here are a couple pictures of the things we have been doing:
-painted/organized the office
-painted/organized the kitchen
-created a dining room by putting up walls/painted
-painted upstairs bedrooms/ bathrooms
 -put in grass/drain

We also hosted a team from Buffalo, New York to come to the orphanage to volunteer for a couple days.  They spent the first day with the kids and took them to the park.  The second day they put on a couple skits and sang songs.  They also donated a bunch of diapers, food, toilet paper, soap, the basic necesseties that the orphanage was lacking.  It was a great time!



-Conference for Non-Profits in México


We were invited to attend an international conference put on by a branch of the government (IJAS) for non-profit organizations in México.  It was a 2 day conference where basically every non-profit from Guadalajara as well as other cities and countries attended.  They supplied us with very useful general information during main sessions and in the breakout sessions we were able to get to know the other organizations better and even make a couple contacts to help with some of the kids in the orphanage!  Above is a picture of our team that attended the conference with a woman who is one of the directors of IJAS- the sector of the government that we go through with our organization in México.


The Lord has truly blessed us down here with all of these different opportunities to serve in this orphanage and to learn through doing all of these things and really getting our hands dirty.  Pray for strength as we start a new schedule with the orphanage as they are not used to having a schedule, rules, organization, etc.  Pray that the Lord would open these kids hearts to the gospel.

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  Psalm 51:12

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Sayulita Camp & Transforming a House to a Home




Sayulita:

We spent July 5th-10th in Sayulita at at a Christian camp with the kids from the orphanage.  Sayulita is a small beach town about 4 hours outside of Guadalajara.  We were able to treat the kids to a summer vacation.  For a lot of the kids this was their first real vacation and their first time at the beach!


A friend let us use their cabins for free

 during our stay in Sayulita.  So we had

four cabins about 10 minutes away from the beach in a tropical jungle.  Absolutely beautiful!  During our time there we led Bible studies with the kids in the morning and then spent the majority of the day at the beach in complete awe of God's beautiful creation.


From "Casa" (House) to "Hogar" (Home):
I really believe that there is a huge difference between a house and home.  I believe that every child needs a place to call home.  A comfortable, relaxing, functional place where they feel safe and well "at home".  And this is what we want for our kids at "Niños en Victoria".  We want their house "casa" to be a home "hogar".  

Over the next month or two we are going to be doing various projects to transform this orphanage into a home "hogar".
--Moving all of the wild animals onto cages on the roof
--Putting down grass in the backyard area instead of the existing dirt/carpet
--Redoing the kitchen with new fridge, cooking pots, silverware, cups, etc
--Dining Room- large kitchen table & chairs/ closed off with mosquito nets
--Classroom upstairs with new concrete, tables, whiteboards, and education materials

Once we have these improvements done to the house we will start our schedule where we will be giving Bible studies through the book of John as well as teaching the kids.  The majority of the kids do not know how to read so we are splitting up into groups to teach the kids the ABCs, how to read, how to comprehend what they have read, mathematics, etc.  

I am so excited to start all of these projects at this casa hogar.  We are learning so much about what it truly means to run an orphanage.  God is teaching me what it looks like to take in orphans and love them--He is showing me how He took me in and loved me.


"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."  Hebrews 13:8

"Jesucristo es lo mismo ayer, hoy y por los siglos."  Hebreos 13:8

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The First Month in Guadalajara

Things have been pretty busy these past few weeks in finding a place to live and in setting up the internship/training with an orphanage down here, but God has been so good and so gracious to us in all of this.  His sovereignty has really been made so clear to me over these past few weeks.

I recently moved into a small house that is about 5 blocks from the orphanage we are working with (Niños en Victoria- Kids in Victory) and about 7 blocks from the house of the 2 guys on my team.  This barrio is awesome!  There are always kids playing soccer in the street and our neighbors (a 4 year old girl and 6 year old boy) are always coming over wanting to play.  I love it!

BLANCA ESTELA:
I’m living with a 19-year-old girl, Blanca, who grew up in an orphanage.  Her parents were put in jail when she was 11 years old.  When she was older she worked in the office of the orphanage.  She has decided to join our team in starting our orphanage!  What an amazing teammate- a girl who actually knows what these children are going through!  I am so excited to live with her and to grow together.   We’re planning on going through a Bible Study each night.  I’m excited to see how God is going to work through this discipleship!  Also starting in August she will be entering the prepa (high school).  So we will get the opportunity to help her and support her with her education as well as with her spiritual growth.

NINOS EN VICTORIA:
The casa hogar (orphanage) that we are working with has about 20-25 boys living there from the ages of 2-17.   Only 4 of the 20 are in school.  There are chickens, ducks, gerbils, roosters, and rabbits running around everywhere.  They never know if there is going to be enough money to pay the rent or to buy food.   There is no order or structure.  The director (Fernando) and his wife (Blanca) are so full of joy and love for the children.  This couple comes from a life in the prison, violence, drugs, alcohol, and prostitution.  Jesus has completely transformed their lives.  They literally have nothing, no money, and no material possessions.  All they have are these children and they love them with all of their hearts.  We are so excited to work with them and really transform this casa hogar!  

Over the past few weeks I feel like God has been teaching our team so much. We’re learning (and continuing to learn):
-how to discipline children out of grace and truth in love
-how to teach teenagers the ABC’s and how to read
-how to work with the government to get the children enrolled in school
-how to give a kid hope when he has none

Just in the past 5 days we’ve really seen a lot.  I’ve heard some of these kids’ stories off of the streets.  Two days ago I broke up a fistfight between a 14 year old and a 12 year old.  Another kid (12 years old) last Friday had a huge breakdown.  He freaked out over one small thing and it quickly escalated.  He started saying how all of the kids there had to die and started punching the ground uncontrollably.  Then he ran upstairs and tried to jump off of the balcony.  Darren and I were able to control him and get him off of the balcony.  He was out of control.  We were able to move him to one of the bunk beds and we held down his body as he convulsed uncontrollably.  His fists clenched tightly.  His eyes were different.  He was yelling and shaking.  I found a knife stuffed down in his sock.

We had no idea what to do.  Not a single clue.  All we could do was pray.  And we prayed.  Not even knowing what to pray.  Tears running down our faces, we prayed.  This kid is probably the sweetest kid there.  Always laughing and joking around.  Always obedient and a hard worker.  I love him so much.  All we could do was pray for him.  And after a good 45 minutes of praying he finally started to calm down.

These kids have some rough pasts.  Growing up in the streets with no one to trust.  Parents in prison.  Raped and beaten by their parents.  Growing up believing that they don’t have a future.  Being told they're stupid and worthless.

Please pray that these children would have hope in Jesus Christ.  He is the only one that can change these kids’ lives.


Saturday, June 5, 2010

Saludos desde Mexico! Greetings from Mexico!

Just a quick update, but...

I flew into Mexico City a couple days ago and I am leaving for Guadalajara in a couple days.  I am so excited to return.  During my time here in Mexico City I have really seen how much I truly love the city of Guadalajara and how much God has given me a heart for working with children, youth, and families.  God has really put Guadalajara on my heart and I am so excited to see what He is doing in the city.

I had the opportunity yesterday to sit down on the side of the street with a friend and watch a family on the streets of Coyoacan (a small town within Mexico City).  The family was making jewelry and selling it to the people passing by.  There was a mother (not any older than 24), a father, a 7 year old girl, a 5 year old boy, and a 1 year old baby just learning to walk.  Honestly my first impression was: "Wow.  Look at how hard this family's life must be.  They are barely surviving.  I am so thankful for what God has given me."

But after sitting and watching them interact for 50 minutes, my perspective completely changed.  They love each other.  I mean, they truly love each other.  You can see it in their eyes, in their smiles, in their hugs, and in their demeanor.  The parents love their children so much and the children love their parents unconditionally.

This is what I want to be a part of down here in Guadalajara.  I want to see families and children restored to a relationship of love, trust, truth and grace.  I want to see people's lives transformed by the love of Jesus Christ.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Mexico bound- June 2nd

On June 2nd I leave for Mexico, and I am so excited.  I am still currently raising monthly financial support, but I am taking this step of faith in trusting that the Lord (Jehovah-Jireh) will provide.

I will be returning to Mexico City for a week to spend with one of my best friends, Alicia.  Even though I have only known Alicia for a little over 2 years, she knows me better than anybody.  I love her sincerity, her transparency, and her heart that longs after Jesus.  The Lord has blessed me tremendously with our friendship and I am so excited to spend this time with her to learn and grow.

After that week in Mexico City I will return to Guadalajara.  We will have various team meetings that first week that I am back.  I am so excited to get back to the orphanage (Fundación Emmanuel).

I cannot wait to see all of my kids.  Emmanuel,  Esperanza, Marcos, Nataly, Alondra, Linda, Julissa, Marisol and all of the other kids.  More than anything I am excited for the hugs, the smiles, the laughter.  I pray that God's love, truth, and grace would overflow in my kids' hearts.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

John Piper- What does it mean to live by faith in the service of the fatherless?



1.  Love God more than life.
2.  Walk by faith in Jesus.
3.  Pour out your life for the fatherless no matter what.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What I've been learning in Texas, Arizona, and California


***Text message I received yesterday:
"I am thanking God for you today.  May your sight of His blessings not be marred by any hint of distraction or doubt.  You are wonderful and loved!"
~I'm praying that I would not lose sight of God's blessings in my life.  That I would not be distracted or doubt.

***Hebrews 11: 6
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
~I'm praying that the Lord would really show me what it truly looks like to "earnestly seek Him".

***Isaiah 43: 13
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."
~I'm praying that I would learn to let go and trust the Lord.

***Galatians 1: 10
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
~Who am I looking to please?  Really convicting.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Wisdom- T.S. Eliot

"Endless invention, endless experiment,
Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?"

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Psalm 51




Psalm 51


Have mercy on me, O God,
       according to your unfailing love;
       according to your great compassion
       blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity 
       and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
       and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
       and done what is evil in your sight,
       so that you are proved right when you speak
       and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
       sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
       you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
       wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
       let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
       and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
       and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence
       or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
       and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
       and sinners will turn back to you.

Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
       the God who saves me,
       and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,
       and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
       you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
       a broken and contrite heart,
       O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
       build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
       whole burnt offerings to delight you;
       then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Monday, March 22, 2010

He is faithful. He never changes. He is always good.

Early this morning I went out to the back porch to spend some time reading and praying.  I got outside and it was really dark.  It had rained throughout the night and the sun wasn't out yet.  The sky was covered in clouds.  As the time passed the sun slowly started to come out.  There was a point when a song came on my iPod called "Picture of Your Love" by Luke Wood.  God always seems to orchestrate things like this, but the lyrics are absoutely beautiful and it is such a beautiful image of God's presence and faithfulness even in the darkness, in the shadow of death.





Your love is the rock that I cling to

Your name is the tower that I run in to
Your strength is what lifts my head when it's bowed low
Your song is the light that shines through my window

And after the rain has fallen
And after the clouds all roll away
The sweetest name remains on my soul

And like the sun after all of the rain's gone
The morning without any cloud comes
With a picture of your love
And when I think of the stars so high over me
The moon in the darkness let's everyone see
A picture of your love

You're faithful you're always the same
You're faithful Lord you never change
You're faithful you're always good you're always good

And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I have no doubt that you've already gone ahead
By fire by night by cloud by day

And though ten thousand fall to my right and my left
Under the shadow of the most high I find my rest
By fire by night by cloud by day


"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Psalm 23: 4


The presence of a shadow and the presence of darkness implies that there has to be a light.  There cannot be a shadow without light.  God is that light.  God is there in the shadow.  God is there in the darkness.  Throughout our walk with God we go through hard times, dark times.  Times where we doubt and question.  Times when we cannot see God.  But God is there.  


He is faithful.  
He never changes.  
He is always good.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Trusting and Believing God-- Romans 4 and Psalm 32

Romans 4: 20-21
"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."

Psalm 32:  7-11
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.  Do not be like the horse or the mule, which has no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.  Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.  Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!"

  1. I need to believe God and not waver from believing His promises.  I need understanding and wisdom.  I need to go to God.
  2. When I go to God, He will strengthen my faith.  I need to make Him my hiding place.  When I trust Him, His songs of deliverance and unfailing love surround me.
  3. When I trust God I am upright in heart.  When I am upright in heart, I rejoice in Him and give glory to Him.

Romans 4: 3     Believing God
Not believing IN God.
but.......
BELIEVING GOD.

Romans 4:5     Trusting God
Not trusting IN God.
but........
TRUSTING GOD.


I will go to Him who is my Hiding Place.
I will go to Him who surrounds me with His unfailing love and songs of deliverance.
I will go to Him who I believe.
I will go to Him who I trust.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Percy's Hot Dog + Meeting Bill

So for those of you who know me pretty well- you know that I don't like hotdogs.  Random fact.  But it is true.  I've never really liked hot dogs.  But there are these hotdogs at this little country store called Percy Flowers in Clayton, NC.  And they are good.  I mean- these hotdogs are good.  haha  :)

Long story short I took the middle daughter of the family that I'm staying with (Lizzy) to Percy's for lunch after school today and we were just getting ready to sit down and enjoy a good Percy's Hot Dog and a soda (Cheerwine- it is amazing!  it is like dr pepper mixed with cherry coke) and as we're sitting down we see this guy (Bill) sketching at the table next to us.

We compliment him on his sketch.  And he strikes up a conversation.  We start talking about the different things in North Carolina and then I mention I'm from Arizona and he starts telling me of the different places he has ridden his motorcycle throughout the US.  As we keep talking he tells me about being to Arizona and on one trip he was driving and he ran into some really bad fog/rain/wind and he couldn't see while driving.  And he said that was the first time he had ever really prayed to God- he asked God to help him get through the storm.  He said that he was not religous and didn't really care about religion, but at that moment he knew there was something more.

So we kept talking and I mentioned how it is so funny how it takes a really intense or scary situation like that for us to even think about God's existence.  I shared a little bit with him about me being an atheist until I was 19 and how it took a big event like that for me to question about God.

We continued talking.  And he started talking more about God, spirituality and religion.  He believes that there is a higher power or maybe a god.  He doesn't like religon.  He doesn't believe the Bible is really the Word of God, but that is from men.  He thinks all religions are in essence the same.  He believes in right and wrong-good and evil.

I got to share some with him about Jesus and what I've experienced and how I've seen people's lives transformed because of what God has done in their lives.

All in all it was a pretty cool conversation.  And I know that God is planting seeds and working in Bill's heart.

God really showed me through this conversation how much I need Him.

Every time I share my testimony or share the gospel I am reminded of who I was before I knew Jesus.
I am reminded of how much I truly need God.
God has given me life.

Please pray that God would continue working in Bill's heart.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Breaking Down-Being Refined by God

God has been breaking me down lately.  I've always tried to put up the facade that I've got it all together.  I'm always trying to do things for other people to pay them back.  I've even tried it with God.  I try to pretend that I'm ok.  I try to pay God back for His grace.  I can't do it.  I can't do it any more.

So I've been living in North Carolina for a little over a month now with an amazing family.  They have opened up their lives to me and have blessed me in so many ways.  I can't even fully comprehend it right now.  But they are providing everything I need.  And I've been trying to think of how I can repay them.  I can't repay them financially.  I can't really give them anything or do anything for them.  I  can't repay them.  And that really bothers me!!!  I struggle so much with receiving things that I can't pay back.  And it's the same with God.  I've fought His grace for so long now.  I've tried doing all of these good things- serving, helping people, etc. to try to repay Him.  I can't do it.  I cannot repay God for His grace.

I really feel like God is refining me right now.  Breaking me down.  Showing me that I can't do anything to gain/earn His grace, His love, His acceptance.

A couple passages from Scripture that I've been looking at lately have to do with being cut down to the bare bone.  God breaking me down to the core.  Realizing that I have nothing to offer.  And yet God wants me.

"'Cut down the tree and trip off its branches; strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit. Let the animals flee from under it and the birds from its branches. But let the stump and its roots, bound with iron and bronze, remain in the ground, in the grass of the field.'"  Daniel 4: 14-15

God is cutting off all of my excess- my branches, my leaves.  All that remains is the stump and its roots-the foundation-God's truth.  The truth is bound with iron and bronze.  Wow. Pretty cool.

"Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice."  Psalm 51: 7-8

God is cleansing me.  He is washing me.  Even though I may be crushed and molded, I will hear joy and gladness. I will rejoice.

Please join me in praying that God would...

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."  Psalm 51: 12

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Living in Babylon but looking towards Zion


"Zion & Babylon"- Josh Garrels


Oh great mammon of form and function
Careless consumerist consumption
Dangerous dysfunction
Described as expensive taste
I’m a people disgraced
By what I claim I need
And what I want to waste
I take no account for nothing
If it’s not mine
It’s a misappropriation of funds
Protect my ninety percent with my guns
Whose side am I on?
Well who’s winning?
My kingdom’s built with the blood of slaves
Orphans, widows, and homeless graves
I sold their souls just to build my private mansion
Some people say that my time is coming
Kingdom come is the justice running
Down, down, down on me
I’m a poor child, I’m a lost son
I refuse to give my love to anyone,
Fight for the truth,
Or help the weaker ones
Because I love my Babylon
I am a slave, I was never free
I betrayed you for blood money
Oh I bought the world, all is vanity
Oh my Lord I’m your enemy
Come to me, and find your life
Children sing, Zion’s in sight
I said don’t trade your name for a serial number
Priceless lives were born from under graves
Where I found you
Say, my name ain’t yours and yours is not mine
Mine is the Lord, and yours is my child
That’s how it’s always been
Time to make a change
Leave your home
Give to the poor all that you own
Lose your life, so that you could find it
First will be last when the true world comes
Livin’ like a humble fool to overcome
The upside-down wisdom
Of a dying world
Zion’s not built with hands
And in this place God will dwell with man
Sick be healed and cripples stand
Sing Allelu
My kingdom’s built with the blood of my son
Selfless sacrifice for everyone
Faith, hope, love, and harmony
I said let this world know me by your love
By your love
Oh my child, daughters and sons
I made you in love to overcome
Free as a bird, my flowers in the sun
On your way to Mount Zion
All you slaves, be set free
Come on out child and come on home to me
We will dance, we will rejoice
If you can hear me then follow my voice

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Your Grace Has Overwhelmed My Brokenness

"To Know Your Name"- Hillsong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnvlpNVQocw



The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems,
Forgiven I'm alive, restored set free.
Your majesty resides inside of me,
Forever I believe, forever I believe.
Arrested by Your truth and righteousness.
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness.
Convicted in Your Spirit, led by Your Word.
Your love will never fail.
Your love will never fail.
'Cause I know You gave, the world Your only Son for us to
Know Your name, to live within the Savior's love and He took my place,
Knowing He'd be crucified and You loved... You loved a people undeserving.


I am so undeserving.
I am so unworthy.
But it doesn't depend on me, but rather on God's faithfulness, His truth, His love, and His grace.


Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Isaiah 58: 9-10 and Enfoque Ciudad Videos

Here is a short video that Jenn and I made expressing the passion that God has given us for working in Guadalajara, Mexico with starting an orphanage to see the children from the streets experience the joy, hope and love of Jesus Christ.



Here is another short video that our two other teammates (Justin and Darren) have created to share the vision that we have for our ministry in Guadalajara, Mexico.



Also if you have facebook, here is a link to our group that we have created there to keep everyone updated on things: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=280085679483

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hey Y'all! Greetings from North Carolina!

So I just got back to the US a couple weeks ago and I moved to North Carolina about three days ago.  I am currently living with an amazing family.  They offered to let me stay with them for the three months that I will be in North Carolina support raising.  They are truly a blessing to me.  I am so completely overwhelmed by their generosity and willingness to take me in as a member of their family.

I'm working with my friend Jenn right now as we raise support for our orphanage project with Enfoque Ciudad.  To be completely honest with you, I hated raising support last summer.  And I have dreaded it ever since.  But over the past two months or so, I really feel like God has given me a completely new perspective on it and I am truly excited about sharing the vision for our orphanage as we go out and look for people to partner with us!

I've talked with a few friends during my time back in the US and I've kind of shared some of the things that I experienced at the orphanage.  And the interesting question always comes up- "So why do you still do it?" 

I've been hit.  Bitten.  Scratched.  Screamed at.  Made fun of.  Hair pulled.  Slept a maximum of 5 hours a night for 2 months straight.  Had 2 minute cold showers every day.  Went without showering for a week, because there just wasn't enough time in the day.  Never had more than 10 minutes to myself throughout the day for 2 months.

I was honestly at the breaking point.  There were times where I wanted to give up.  I felt helpless.

There were definitely some hard times.  BUT I got to witness some amazing things as well...

One day I saw a little seven year old girl sitting on the playground by herself talking out loud to herself.  I walked up to her and asked her why she was talking to herself and she told me that she was praying and talking to God.  My first thought was "Wow, this seven year old wants to talk to God instead of play.  She must understand something I don't."  So I hung around her for a few minutes, because I wanted to know what a seven year old prays for.  She prayed for her younger brother, her mom and dad living on the street, all of the other street children, for the prostitutes, the mothers in jail, the kids in Africa, for finances at the orphanage so we could eat tomorrow, for the other kids at the orphanage.  She also started to pray for me and all of the other staff at the orphanage.  Wow.  I was utterly speechless.  She understands something that I don't.  She has more faith that I do.  I am still amazed to this day at how much she believes in God and that He has a plan for her life.  Even though she grew up on the streets and her family still lives on the streets and does not have food to eat nor a place to stay, she believes in God.  She has a passion that I have never seen before.

I'm praying that I would have child-like faith as I begin support raising-completely trusting in God to provide.  I want her faith.  I want to have the faith of a child. 

Honestly I can't really describe to you why I still do it.  Even though the past few months have been the hardest months in my life, I would not trade them for anything.  I would do nothing different.  I have learned so much and I have truly experienced God's love and grace like I never have before.  I am so thankful that I have this opportunity.  I am truly so thankful for all that God has given me, because I know that I do not deserve any of this.

Matthew 18:2-5
 "He called a little child and had him stand among them.  And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."


"Unashamed" by Starfield
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hci0FXl-OqE