Hey Y'all! Greetings from North Carolina!

So I just got back to the US a couple weeks ago and I moved to North Carolina about three days ago.  I am currently living with an amazing family.  They offered to let me stay with them for the three months that I will be in North Carolina support raising.  They are truly a blessing to me.  I am so completely overwhelmed by their generosity and willingness to take me in as a member of their family.

I'm working with my friend Jenn right now as we raise support for our orphanage project with Enfoque Ciudad.  To be completely honest with you, I hated raising support last summer.  And I have dreaded it ever since.  But over the past two months or so, I really feel like God has given me a completely new perspective on it and I am truly excited about sharing the vision for our orphanage as we go out and look for people to partner with us!

I've talked with a few friends during my time back in the US and I've kind of shared some of the things that I experienced at the orphanage.  And the interesting question always comes up- "So why do you still do it?" 

I've been hit.  Bitten.  Scratched.  Screamed at.  Made fun of.  Hair pulled.  Slept a maximum of 5 hours a night for 2 months straight.  Had 2 minute cold showers every day.  Went without showering for a week, because there just wasn't enough time in the day.  Never had more than 10 minutes to myself throughout the day for 2 months.

I was honestly at the breaking point.  There were times where I wanted to give up.  I felt helpless.

There were definitely some hard times.  BUT I got to witness some amazing things as well...

One day I saw a little seven year old girl sitting on the playground by herself talking out loud to herself.  I walked up to her and asked her why she was talking to herself and she told me that she was praying and talking to God.  My first thought was "Wow, this seven year old wants to talk to God instead of play.  She must understand something I don't."  So I hung around her for a few minutes, because I wanted to know what a seven year old prays for.  She prayed for her younger brother, her mom and dad living on the street, all of the other street children, for the prostitutes, the mothers in jail, the kids in Africa, for finances at the orphanage so we could eat tomorrow, for the other kids at the orphanage.  She also started to pray for me and all of the other staff at the orphanage.  Wow.  I was utterly speechless.  She understands something that I don't.  She has more faith that I do.  I am still amazed to this day at how much she believes in God and that He has a plan for her life.  Even though she grew up on the streets and her family still lives on the streets and does not have food to eat nor a place to stay, she believes in God.  She has a passion that I have never seen before.

I'm praying that I would have child-like faith as I begin support raising-completely trusting in God to provide.  I want her faith.  I want to have the faith of a child. 

Honestly I can't really describe to you why I still do it.  Even though the past few months have been the hardest months in my life, I would not trade them for anything.  I would do nothing different.  I have learned so much and I have truly experienced God's love and grace like I never have before.  I am so thankful that I have this opportunity.  I am truly so thankful for all that God has given me, because I know that I do not deserve any of this.

Matthew 18:2-5

 "He called a little child and had him stand among them.  And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."


"Unashamed" by Starfield
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hci0FXl-OqE

Back to the US for a little bit

So these past two months at the orphanage have been a rollercoaster.  I have learned so much.  I have cried so much.  I haven't slept.  I haven't had time to rest.  I have received and given more hugs and kisses than I have in my entire life.  I have felt more love than I ever have before.  I have been the most confused I have ever been.  I think in Spanish.  I dream in Spanish.  At times I can't think in English.  Other times I can't think in Spanish.  Sometimes I have no idea what's going on in my brain, because I'm constantly trying to figure out what language I'm speaking/thinking/etc.  It's crazy!

So after a lot of prayer and discussion with my team we felt like it would be best for me to go back to the US for a few months to raise support with my other team member Jenn in North Carolina.  This feels so right.  At first I was really reluctant, because it didn't make sense to me to leave after I started the internship at the orphanage, because I would have to buy a plane ticket, find a place to live, find a car, etc.  But I decided to go for it and trust in God.  And well no big surprise-- God totally provided!  About a week ago a family from Jenn's church offered to let me stay at their house.  What a blessing!

I'm actually excited to raise support.  I'm excited to tell stories from the orphanage.  I'm excited to share our vision for our own orphanage.  I'm excited to see God work.

I'm also excited to rest.  The past two months have been so draining: emotionally, physically, spiritually. I would get maybe 4-5 hours of sleep a night.  Nonstop working with the kids.  Even though I was constantly surrounded by kids and people I felt so alone.  I've never really felt that kind of loneliness before.  I don't even know how to explain it, but it was hard.  Yes there were people to talk to, but it would be in Spanish.  I have learned a lot of Spanish throughout my time here, but I am still not at the point where I can express myself on that deeper emotional level yet.  So it was hard for me, but God got me through.  I am definitely in need of this time to really spend time in the Word and in prayer to truly seek God as we start support raising.

I am excited to see what God has in store for the time that I will be back in the US.